Isn’t it Ionic, don’t you think?

Travelling on my own has made my brain do funny things. I rewrote the lyrics of Alanis Morissette’s mortal song ‘Ironic’.


Ionic lyrics

There’s a capitol on a column, you know,
It has some curls on it, like a great big scroll
There’s a load of them, all in a row,
It’s not called a pillar, and it’s not called a pole.
Isn’t it Ionic, don’t you think
?

It’s like rams’ horns on your temple in Greece;
It’s that swirl you made when you carved that piece;
It’s the Doric style that’s not under the frieze,
And on that frieze… are figures

Mr. Sculptor Man was afraid to create;
He decided on Corinthian, and he’d been to that city state.
He waited his whole damn life to carve those leaves,
And as the official changed his mind he thought
“Well, isn’t this sweet.”
And isn’t it Ionic, don’t you think
?

It’s like rams’ horns on your temple in Greece;
It’s that swirl you made when you carved that piece;
It’s the Doric style that’s not under the frieze,
And on that frieze… are figures

Well, entasis has a funny way of bulging out on you
When you think everything’s straight and everything’s going up
And fluting has a funny way of making you feel groovy:
You think everything’s dull, but the column’s got lines
Vertically.

A spiral shape when you’re at the top;
Like an ammonite that just won’t drop.
It’s like ten thousand triglyphs when all you need’s a stylobate
It’s meeting the temple of my dreams,
And then meeting its beautiful shape.
And isn’t it Ionic, don’t you think
?
A little too Ionic, and yeah I really do think
…

It’s like rams’ horns on your temple in Greece;
It’s that swirl you made when you carved that piece;
It’s the Doric style that’s not under the frieze,
And on that frieze… are figures

Well, entasis has a funny way of bulging out on you
And fluting has a funny way of making you feel groovy:
Vertically.

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